Tomorrow marks exactly one month until my first competition. I am so nervous. One day my abs are popping, the next they aren’t. My thoughts consist of “Will i be ready? will the fat come off? will my abs look good? will my legs look good?”
I went to my posing practice today. Umm, all of the girls look fucking great. There were 2 new girls today, and they are both doing figure, so i won’t be competing against them. One of them is totally show ready, the other’s abs are perfect, but her legs need to lean out a bit.There is also my friend Lisa(she looks show ready right now) and then another girl who is much older who looks like she could take the masters stage with ease. We watched some videos of figure/fitness america today and then worked on posing and turns. It is scary. Really, really scary.
I wanted to give up today. Not gonna lie. I sat at home, was bumming all day(not just about that, but about a few other things) The bumming stemmed from me being TIRED. i know i over did it yesterday, and i continuued working out hard this morning. I’m so close though, and I read Rae’s Blog and it inspired me to not even THINK about giving up. If i get last place, who cares. I know I am in the best shape of my life and it will only get better from here on out. I love the way I eat, and although it’s hard sometimes, in the end, I LIKE IT. I don’t mind eating egg whites and chicken all the time. I have grown to love veggies(honestly even more than fruit now!) and i can honestly say i don’t worry about ever turning back to the “dark side” I don’t like the way I feel when I eat like that and in moderation, fine, but i don’t even desire that anymore. (Except a little ice cream here and there…in a month i will actually eat it instead of staring at it in the grocery store!)
Long store short: I NEED A VACATION. After this competition…i will take one to visit my brother in california. He is a health nut like me and loves fresh fruit and vegetables, and exercise. He tends to over do it just like me, but in different ways. I.e. mountain biking for 8 hours straight. Yeah, he’s more nuts than me!
Anyways, this was a lot of rambling, but basically…i am in this to the end, i love my new lifestyle, and shit…I’M TAKING THE STAGE BABY!
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