When you see an article about weightloss tips, they’re all the same. Drink more water, eat this, don’t eat that, try this new super food that will miraculously help you lose weight, blah blah blah BLAH! I put together some weight loss tips that are just….Mo’ bettah!

1. Stop looking in the mirror. Just stop. You start your new plan, you start feeling good, you look in the mirror and all you see are your flaws. This translates to going from being happy and feeling good to getting down in the dumps and feeling yucky. Don’t even give yourself the chance to pick out your flaws! Use a mirror to determine that, yes, you have put eyeliner on both of your eyes. But don’t you dare lift up your shirt to look at your tummy! No staring at your naked butt. Don’t Do It!! Trust what you’re doing, and take progress pictures to help, but don’t be the person to compare them. Let an unbiased person or people decide whether you’re making progress or not. Better yet, grab a measuring tape and track progress that way. Enjoy the process.

2. Stop buying into the gimmicks. Yes, acai berry, maca, and quinoa are all very healthy for you, BUT THEY’RE NOT MIRACLE WEIGHT LOSS ACTIVATORS. If you start incorporating acai berry into your diet, you’re not going to lose weight any faster. If you think that putting maca powder on your oats is going to melt the fat off of your belly within 2 weeks, pull your head out of the dirt. You wanna know what makes that fat go away? Consistent healthy eating and exercise. You can supplement all you want, but it isn’t necessary unless you’re lacking in something that your body NEEDS. There will be new products that marketers try to push all the time, but be honest with yourself and use your brain. Stay consistent and “magic” will happen.

3. Stop thinking you have to eat 6 meals a day in order to lose weight. You don’t. You can eat 1 meal a day if you so choose. I don’t recommend that due to unbalanced energy levels, but if it works for you, go for it.

4. Stop thinking that tilapia has magic powers. It. Doesn’t. Find a food you LIKE that fits into that macronutrient makeup (protein,carbs, fat) and eat that if you want. If you can prove to me that eating tilapia is superior to eating chicken, then I will give up the rights to my first child. (I really hope I’m right in this situation….if not, I’m a horrible not-soon-to-be mother)

5. Eat junk food if you want. Yeah, bet you never heard that one before! Just don’t eat too much of it, make it fit into your caloric and macro nutrient goals for the day, and balance it out with healthier food. Now don’t e-mail me saying I told everyone to eat junk food at every meal, because that’s not what I’m saying. But if you’re supposed to eat chicken and brown rice and you want a turkey sandwich? Have the damn sandwich. The processed bread is not going to seep into your fat stores and make them expand. Like I said, make it fit into your daily goals and all will be well in the world.

6. Last, but not least, don’t ask your ex-boyfriend if he thinks you’ve gained weight. Just don’t do it. It isn’t an ideal situation.