This series of posts will be written in short snippets. Because while I love writing, I just want to get this stuff out in the simplest manner. So pardon the no-fluff approach. No preamble, no setting the stage. Just raw words from my brain to the page. Enjoy it, or don’t.
Stop Setting Expectations and Ruining Everything
One of the first things that started allowing me to be free and happy was this: I stopped setting expectations and started letting things be what they are.
The first thing people say to this is “but don’t you want to be treated a certain way? Don’t you want some standards?”
The thing is, I didn’t lower my standards, and people confuse the two.
When you set expectations of people or a situation, you are projecting onto it. It’s not fair to you, the situation, or anyone else involved.
When that expectation that YOU set isn’t met, you end up disappointed.
But who gave you the right to set that in the first place?
Let that go. Let things be what they are. Don’t ruin it before it happens by deciding what it should be, what you want it to be, etc.
And to answer the question, this also doesn’t mean you have to allow yourself to stay in the situation or around the person/people if what it is doesn’t serve you for the positive.
So no, you don’t need to lower your standards, let people treat you in a way that you deem unfavorable, or anything else.
You simply just let things be what they are. Let people reveal what and how much they want to, without you projecting your expectation. Without you digging into them or their life. They don’t owe you anything and it’s not your place to dig. Let a situation unfold as it will.
And when it does unfold and reveal itself? Decide whether or not you want to stick around for it. That’s your choice and you get to take responsibility of your choices (which is part 2…another day).
Expectations are a disease.