Today has been the most boring Monday in history. Not boring in the sense that there was nothing to do, but boring in the sense that it was very routine and blah. I don’t like routine. I like unroutine. I also like making up new words.
I got up feeling like I could stay in bed for another 2 hours, but I decided not to be a loser and to get my butt to work. I worked for about 3 hours and called it quits. I debated on going home and coming back to workout, but had a feeling if I went home I’d never come back. To the treadmill I went…..
Today’s workout was just cardio. I put my legs through the ringer the past few days and my upper body is sore from yesterday’s workout as well. I did 30 minutes on the treadmill (8.0-12.0 incline, 3.3-3.5mph) and finished with 15 minutes on the “moon machine”. I call it that because when I’m on it I feel like I’m walking on the moon. Since I know what that would feel like.
Since today was so mundane, I figured I’d spice it up with 5 things you may not know about me. There are no rules to this game except that if I don’t think twice before typing it, it’s not good enough to make the list. Here goes..
I once lied about having a dog. No, I wasn’t 5 years old, I was 19. It was an accident, but by the time I realized what was going on, I couldn’t turn back. Let me explain….
My dog had died about 3 months prior to this conversation. This person we shall call “John” had been talking to me about his dog quite a bit. I may or may not have had a crush on John and started talking about funny things that my previous dog did. (At this point, it could have been a current or former dog, I hadn’t clarified either direction.) He then told me that we should take our dogs to the dog park together and for some reason I just blurted out “Yeah that would be fun!” I think I was just nervous and I said it before I had a chance to think. I felt like an idiot, and it was too late to say “Oh wait, I mean my dog is dead!” So, for the next week, I had to pretend that I had a dog whenever I was asked about it. Finally, I came in one day and told him that my dog had gotten hit by a car a few days before. It was a lie, it had happened about 3-4 months prior, but I didn’t know what else to do.
In kindergarten I peed my pants on the playground and tried to blame it on the water fountain exploding on me. The water fountain DID explode on me….internally…
When I was a little kid (2nd grade maybe?) our cousin was staying with us for the summer while he interned at a company in Phoenix. I would literally bug him day and night and go in his room when he wasn’t home messing with his stuff. He had a scanner, so obviously I needed to scan every part of my body and every object in the entire house. I think I was just excited to have someone new around, but at 19 years old, I don’t think he was all that amused with me. Or at least not 24/7. I can’t remember if he got mad at me or just started ignoring me, but one day I got mad that he wasn’t paying attention to me and I took the keys to his rental car and threw them in the dumpster. I denied ever seeing them and eventually, he had to get a locksmith out to make new keys. I never admitted this to anyone until I was in college. Mike, if you’re reading this, SORRY!! 🙂
Continuing with my angelic childhood, my sister used to babysit a lot and actually made pretty decent money for someone her age. She kept it in a piggy bank in her bedroom. It was weird, because every few weeks a few hundred dollars would go missing and that exact amount would end up in my wallet. It was a strange phenomenon that never quite got explained…..;-)
Banana peels don’t get you high. Don’t ask me how I know that, or why I learned that at age 14.
So now that I’ve admitted that I was the devil’s child and also quite gullible, what is one thing you will probably regret admitting? Leave a comment!